Kyle's 2nd Canadianniversary

or, the first time we made our own poutine

I always feel really clever when I take two words and mash them together. I feel like I'm making Bradeglina here pre-split. So on the anniversary of Kyle becoming a Canadian - Canadianniversary.  So clever, right?

2 years ago Kyle went through all the rigorous testing on Wayne Gretzky + moose + being polite (+ some stuff about voting "freedom, democracy, prosperity + security") + got a little miniature flag + became a legally voting member of the great country of Canada, eh? I possibly balled my eyes out then we went out for smoked salmon + Caesars. That night I surprised him with all of his friends gathered at the Legion buying buckets of Molson Canadian - and thus his first Canadianniversary was born.

It's really nice to celebrate Kyle being Canadian, because he's so proud to be one. Unfortunately we're trying to be a little healthy these days which potentially rules out a lot of Canadian fine dining, like bacon + maple syrup (we're trying to be healthy because I possibly replaced exercise + eating well with work over the past few months + things mayyyyy have gotten out of control) (Oh also we watched Okja + now we're no longer cooking meat at home- but we are eating it when we're out and about) But what's more Canadian than poutine? We decided that although the odds were stacked against us, we were going to make up our own recipe of healthy, vegetarian poutine, i.e. the most inauthentic poutine you've ever had.

I asked Kyle to review this recipe as a Canadian and he gave it-

"Two beaver tails slapping on the river"

It's. that. good.

So here's how we made it:


poutine Ingredients

  • Potatoes [turn them into baked fries]
  • Halloumi [middle eastern fry-able, non-melting squeaky cheese]
  • Mushroom gravy
  • Olive oil + salt + pepper 

vegan mushroom Gravy ingredients [sorry it's a new york times recipe + i don't have the rights to share it with you oh no!]

  • small onion chopped to the same size as the mushrooms
  • chopped mushrooms
  • olive oil
  • flour
  • vegetable stock
  • soy sauce
  • salt + pepper


French Fries

So I opened up the how to bake your own french fries from Martha, and was like awwwwww helllll no when I saw how you do it, so just took the fact that you're supposed to soak the spuds before baking them and started again. We soaked the spuds for 15 minutes instead of 4 hours, but in the future I think there's a reason to do that.

Switched over to this recipe for sweet potato fries, and saw that basically you preheat the oven to 450 F // cut spuds into french fry shape + size // dry them with a paper towel // toss them in oil + pepper + salt // bake them on one layer thick not touching each other cast iron pizza stone // flip after 20 minutes // bake again for 10 and you done!


While the spuds are baking let's get on that gravy train. Kyle, lil American that he is, is subscribing to the New York Times recipes and found a make mushroom gravy. 

Heat your oil // add in the mushrooms + onion // add the flour // add in the vegetable stock // flavour with salt + pepper + soy sauce. It takes about 20 minutes + is very damn good + you can sign up to read the recipe in more detail if you like. Suppppez sorry about that.

squeaky cheese

Chop up your halloumi into cheese-curd sized pieces, toss with some olive oil + salt + pepper + fry that shit up so it's nice + golden brown + incredibly delicious.

Put it all together + die of Canadian happiness.

some very fine canadian poutine, eh?